Wednesday, April 25, 2007

April showers bring May flowers bring allergies

I have my huge grad school project due in a very short amount of time, I have about fifteen pounds to loose, and my garage needs cleaned. Instead of doing any of these productive and needful things, I am sitting in front of my computer and my fingers are moving as if there is some greater purpose in my words than procrastination. I don’t feel too distraught over it all though, since I have not written in over a month, I feel that this is due me.
The past month has been a whirlwind, internship, job interview, etc. Internship is over. Got the job for fall. Clap. Clap. Let’s move on. And let’s work backwards. Starting with an hour ago. Now, for all intensive purposes, I have been celibate for most of the past year, since the break up that I may have mentioned before. Therefore, there was little to no worry that a HIV test would provide anything other than an excuse to get poked by a needle. Nevertheless, I managed to work myself up into a tizzy, thinking about telling certain people that my white blood cell count would never meet theirs. Three years ago, my doctor told me that she was fairly certain I had HIV. I lived the next two months in agonized terror, telling no one, except my asshole boyfriend who refused to get tested because he was scared. Poor baby. Well, today’s test came back negative, yet again. Praise God (not said in a sarcastic way in the slightest)! Here’s to being able to worry about nothing another day!
So, remember the boy I mentioned that I was VERY casually dating a bit ago? Well, as of three days ago, we are officially exclusively dating. Shockingly enough, I have not freaked out yet. Don’t worry. If I still am who I am, I will. I am proud of myself in this though, I must say. At this point, I have managed to live in the moment, and not over think things to a ridiculous degree. I simply enjoy being with him. He is a very good, kind, sweet, genuine man. I am not thinking marriage or baby carriages, so that helps the blood pressure remain at its normal monsoon rushing pulse instead of the hurricane that normally comes with matters of love. Love. I love him. It is strange to say that to someone after all the time spent anguishing over my past relationship. Not that any of that is negated in any way. It is also amazing to see how different love can feel with different people. The love I have with each of them is not even comparable to the other, but both are love. I am sure if I spent much time on this vain of thought the hurricane would arrive and my head would explode. Therefore, on to other things….
I am still in the process of the tattoo pondery, but I do think the process will begin some time before my birthday next month. Oh, did you forget that next month is my birthday? That’s ok. You can get me the new Mustang in that horrible sixties green. It is FABULOUS!!! Or a burnt orange mini-Cooper. You know, whatever. I have drawn so many tattoos that I could cover the worlds fattest man (which I must say, seems to be a competition that is gaining more and more applicants—they say the rich are getting richer, but really, the fat are just getting fatter; having been in the relationship realm the past three months seems to have made me begin the application process myself; sooooo NOT ok). Maybe if I get enough tattoos on my shoulders and arms, they will distract from my expanding waist and ass.
There have been so many things that I have wanted to blog about over the past month, but getting up at five and going to bed before ten has hindered the rapid firing of my synapses, so this will be all for today. Besides, I have dogs to walk, and pizza to eat and a paper to avoid.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's good to see you've written again. Was wondering what happened to ya. I can't imagine how scary it must have been for you to think you had HIV. I'm so glad you are negative. And yes yes yes I'm so happy you are happy in a relationship and loving again. That makes me all smiley :)
Much love to you. *hugs*