of feathers and sand

I woke up on a cloud this morning. I wanted to sink into it, letting the softness overtake my body, the whiteness cover my eyes, its lure lull me into unconsciousness—never again to wake. Chad and I just purchased a memory foam mattress and a featherbed pillow top covering. The memory foam is still airing out downstairs, but judging from the first night sleeping in feathers, this may be the last anyone will every hear from me. I will be lost in the world of dreams and oblivion. A true sign of age. I used to hate going to bed. It was such a waste of time. Now, I can’t think of anything more wonderful. Well, maybe a cheeseburger.
After school tomorrow, Spring Break begins. Chad and I are rushing to the airport and zooming to San Diego. He has never been. I am anxious for him to experience it, since that is where he will spend the rest of his days. On the beach, reading a book, eating endless homemade tortillas (a food I like even more than cheeseburgers). I hope he likes it as much as I do, as I have plans for us to live there one day. I have no idea how that will ever come to pass, short of ending up on the best sellers list or winning the lotto (preferably both, but if I had to choose, it would be the first one). Of course, my family would have to move with me. How can you be enmeshed when you are a thousand miles apart? Can’t wait!!!
Can’t you just see it? I would lock myself up in a little shack on the beach (and by little shack, I mean a darling little stone cottage with bay windows, winding chimney, and a fairy tale perfect backyard), writing a novel as the wind plays with my never graying hair and caresses my ever-bulging muscles while Dunkyn and Dolan sleep at my feet, and Chad waits in the other room waiting with tortillas and burgers, ready to make love. Sigh. Gonna happen.
It surprises me how much this thought really does thrill me (even the realistic version). I swore a few years ago that I would never move from Colorado. I love the mountains and all my friends are here. All that is still true. However, sleep is not the only new realization that comes with old age. When I was a kid, dad would always tell me that family were the only ones that I would be guaranteed would be with me my whole life (as long as life allowed anyway). I always scoffed and felt him to be unfriendly. I now understand what he meant, and am gradually reaching the place where I can accept it without sadness.
A few years ago I would have said that my number of everlasting friends were countless. I still love all of my friends. However, I am coming to find very few are everlasting (what really is after all?). I can count on less than two hands the friends that I now know will be with me forever, and even some of those will not always be ones I see weekly, or even yearly. Surprisingly, I am ok with this realization. I think it is probably true for everyone. I am sure I have talked about this before, but it is striking more and more true all the time. People change so much and life requires change; it is only natural. It doesn’t lessen the love between friends and the treasure of what we share. It may only be seasonal, that doesn’t change its beauty. The ones that last a lifetime may be even less flowery and beautiful, but they will be the strong ones, ones that endure. So, what are you left with? Well, if you are truly lucky and blessed: yourself, your spouse, your family, your dogs, your books, and God. Pretty good deal, if you ask me.