As many of you may know, I don’t watch the news. I hate it. Life is hard enough, both personally, and with the kids that I work with, that I don’t need to turn on the TV and see a plethora of calamities of which I can do nothing to remedy. The bits of news I do become privy to, I ascertain from gossip or headlines on MSN.com or other ridiculous sources—namely, US magazine. Well, there have been two huge stories to be uncovered over the past few months. One I knew of immediately, and the other I only discovered yesterday. Here they are: 1. Lance Bass is gay. 2. Neil Patrick Harris is a ferret. Oh, wait, no. He is gay too.
This is news? This is worthy to be reported on? I didn’t even get these stories from US, it was real news! Why are these stories news? I am all in favor of all the gay boys coming out when they are good and ready. Oh, alright, all you lesbians can come out too, but take off the flannel. Just kidding. I love flannel. Sexy. Especially when it is worn, tattered and unbuttoned. Take me lumberjack. Take me! Oh, sorry. Got a little off course there. . .
Also, isn’t news supposed to be surprising? Or unexpected? Maybe not, as crooked politicians and priest still make headlines. But, come on! Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris? Paul Revere has been in rotting in his grave for like, what, six hundred years or something? Even he knew they were the biggest fags in the lollypop gang! The moment Lance cut his strings, it was obvious the boy was flaming! And Neil? Serriously! Everyone knew who he was playing doctor with! I respect both men and applaud their courage to be honest and real, but they were about as in the closet as Boy George and Aquaman! To top it off, people were surprised, shocked, and even offended. What is shocking and offensive is how completely unobservant and clueless the general public can be.
What next? Shock when Ricky Martin comes out? You really think he was singing to Shakira tell her to shake her Bon Bon? Don’t think so. If he was, then my marriage preparations are all for naught. . .
People make me smile. Shake my head in exasperation and disgust, but still make me smile. :) See?
Black Coffee Tables
9 years ago
2 comments:
Are you kidding? Doogie totally wanted to have sex with his girlfriend (I forget her name started with an M I think.) It was the whole point of the show. I mean next you'll tell me that Vinnie was gay too (and if that is true, they will definitely kill him off the Sopranos).
As an aside, can we all agree that Doogie was the original blogger?
Doogie so was the original blogger! I'd forgotten all about that show, how he used to sit and type in his journal at the end of every ep. Well I saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle a while back and Neil was a sex crazed drugged up maniac with women and I was shocked he played that roll... So wierd to see Doogie doin that. lol. As for Lance Bass bein gay, I'm sure my ex sis in law doesn't know, she had a crush on him for years. Not too common for a guy from a boy band to come out. I didn't know til I read your blog. haha. I'm not shocked though :) I thought Doogie was married tho... I just read an article about him in USAA's magazine and they didn't mention it. Maybe they know what real news is.
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