Wednesday, December 19, 2007

city mouse lost in the suburbs

Chad and I had our nearly weekly date with one of my best friends last night (MS) to have fattening food and watch Desperate Housewives. We watched four episodes. It was fabulous! MS recently married a very wonderful man, and she moved to Colorado Springs, the Bible Belt of the West. MS, being even more liberal than me in most circumstances, feels like an extraterrestrial having to stay incognito in order to avoid ostracization. She is very protective and invested in the whole ‘gay-rights’ movement, as her best friend is gay and she had an uncle who was gay as well. Needless to say, finding people who are of the same frame of mind close to her vicinity is near to the task of locating a unicorn wandering around Pearl Street Mall (although, you can soon find a strip club there—crazy, huh?). I had flashbacks to childhood when she told the story of being in the grocery store after she finished school for the day—she is a teacher as well. As she was pushing her cart down the aisle, a little girl in the passing cart pointed towards the small tattoo on her ankle, looked up at her mom, and said, “Look what she has, Mommy.” The mother took in MS’s ink and looked back at her daughter. From a lowered voice, MS heard, “Yes, dear. She will be going to hell.”
I think that is the hardest I have laughed in weeks. Just one more reminder of my heritage and of the plethora of reasons I have a suite reserved with a sea of fire view.
Towards the end of the conversation, MS had a very genuine insight, one that many people never allow themselves to comprehend. She switched her position and thought about all the conservitive and traditional people who live in liberal areas (like big cities) and how they must feel like they are in a foreign land and have to be careful with every word they say. I think her empathy summed up what many people on both sides of fence experience. There was a news article by the gay press that was tearing apart a coach (I don’t remember which one or which sport—gay, remember?) for speaking at Promise Keepers and saying that if one of his team members was gay, he would speak to them about his beliefs and that he felt it was a sin. However, when asked if he would allow them to stay on the team, he said that he would, if they were a good player. What more could we ask of this man? To me, it seems like the perfect response. We all want to be open-minded and all-inclusive, as long as everyone converts to be exactly like us. There are many churches where I would not be allowed to work with children (despite my youth ministry degree) simply based on my tattoos—let’s not even think about my gayness. There are just as many places that a coach who maintains a respect for his players would be flogged and labeled a bigot/racists for simply stating his beliefs.
I have been astounded by the amount of people who have completely accepted my life and sexuality without so much as a question and have never treated me differently—I wish everyone could be like that. However, I have also been amazed by those whose very core tells them that the way I live my life puts me and others in eternal and mortal danger, and yet they have shown love, respect, and genuine tenderness. It is the ability and skill to care for and see the value in those that differ intrinsically from ourselves (on every side of the fence, if a fence had more than two sides) that embodies the true essence of Love, and therefore, the true essence of God.

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