this moment

There are nights where I feel like everything I touch will turn to gold. I will make up my mind and bam, I will lose the extra thirty pounds and get all my muscle back. I will clean the house and keep it that way every day. I will sit down in front of my computer, my fingers will soar over the keys and my novel will emerge. I will be able to keep all those I love near to me and alive. I will be the man I want to be so badly.
Then, there are nights like tonight. Despite the blessings of my love live, family life, friend life, and dog life, that everything I touch will turn to rot, or even worse, simply be mundane and ordinary. A life spent in front of the tv. A life spent eating. A life spent breathing. period.
I look forward to tomorrow night.