Friday, February 24, 2012

prayers of hope and thanks

What a wonderful few weeks it has been. Nearly perfect. Would have been perfect if I could subtract where I am right now—which is why I am blogging, of course. Why blog when things are good? (sarcasm)
The past few weeks have seen things growing and becoming stronger and more secured between Smokey and I. Truly, stuff that I’ve only dreamed of. Right now, things are up in the air, which I will get to. But, previously, they’ve simply been pretty perfect. He is such a beautiful, sweet, romantic, wonderful man.
Last Friday, a week ago, I got a contract for The Shattered Door in my email. Dreamspinner Press is publishing it! (That’s four books under contract—two written, two not.) They will set me up with an editor (thank God, it needs it) in the next two months, and they plan on publishing it by the end of summer/beginning of fall. Either way, if things go according to plan, I should have an actual, edited, truly published book for sale in 2012! Praise God! Truly, praise God!!!
Things are hard/confusing/stressful once more with Smokey and I. I’m hoping it’s just part of the pattern that’s been getting better—some amazing weeks, followed by a little freak out. However, this one seems a bit more serious. I really thought he was going to leave me yesterday. Still on pins and needles as I wait for time to pass and hopefully the stress to pass. It’s so hard. It’s so hard on him too. The commitment issues are huge. The overnights at work and how they affect everything are a factor. Attempting to sell the house he and his long-time ex owned is a factor. Questions over the future are a factor. The neediness of his boyfriend is a factor. A perfect storm that will require lots of work, lots of faith, lots of tears, lots of determination, and lots of love. Glad we have the love. The rest comes and goes, but I pray they stay enough to see us through. Faith can be so hard when you’re used to things not working out. However, things are turning around in that sense. The books are finally going where I’ve prayed and worked for for years, I have a man that I love more than I ever dreamed. And again, if I can only have one miracle, I choose him. While the books are amazing, you can’t build a life with them. True, I want it all, but mostly, I want the life that we are building and the love that we share. Please whisper continued prayers for us. Please and thank you! I know you don’t read this, but I love you Smokey, with all of my heart!

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