Lube: The Quest for Equality

I thought I would switch things up a bit tonight as I blog. You know, try something new—something different. I hope you can handle the shock to your system. I am not going to talk about how simple, easy, and fair life is. No, no. I am going to bitch. Maybe even be a bitch. Maybe both! Gasp! The audacity! Yes, that is what I am going to do: Bitch and Be a Bitch! I may also invent a cereal and name it that. That would sweet.
Today, as it should every crisp, partially overcast, yet oddly muggy Sunday morning, my mind turned not to tulips, daffodils, and chrysanthemums, but to AIDS. Hard to make a bouquet out of, but still deserving of attention. Today was the AIDS walk (for which I raised a big whopping $0—thank you so much, all you faithful who gave so generously! I did put in $20 for myself to walk—maybe everyone was already giving to the Help Pass Ref I & Default Amendment 43 fund—yeah, that’s it). Anywhoooo, the AIDS walk. . . (remember, I said I liked to use these [. . . ], you were forewarned).
I saw something there, while I was helping to defeat the virus by shuffling my feet on asphalt, that I see at every ‘gay’ event that always makes my hackles rise. I could choose to go off about how the AIDS walk is a ‘gay’ thing, but I will save that delectable treasure for later consumptional delight. I am upset, offended, astonished and ashamed of the trash cans! The Trash Cans!!! Burn them all! No, they are not made of dented, tacky aluminum, or as boring as black bouncy-back Rubbermaid receptacles, of such I can only wish. They were made of cardboard. I have no particular problem with cardboard. It is fairly multifunctional and is very equal-opportunistic. I do, however, take issue with the design gracing the ever humble surface of this miracle named cardboard. It was plastered with ads for ID Pleasure. For those of you innocent types (as I laugh, like you would be reading this!) that is a [use your whisper voice] personal lubricant. I actually have no problem with ID Pleasure. It is the one I have chosen to spend my money on, and would recommend it to others if so asked—and obviously, even if not asked. However, could we be more tacky and socially offensive?
Why is it, that every single gay event I attend I am accosted by free condoms, lube, or cock rings, porn, dildos. . . (ok, not all those are free, but still)? Why is my identity as a gay man synonymous with all of that? Yes, yes, I know that ‘gay’ is SEXUAL identity, but come on, really?!?!? Can we grow up and have some class yet? If we wanna do lube wrestling later on at Tracks or something, great! But maybe we can save some of our so-called ‘liberation’ for when it is a little more appropriate. It greatly disturbs me to see children, families, and helpless puppies walk by all of the propaganda and smut. My family has greatly struggled with me being gay. They are wonderful, truly, to me. They love and adore me, but they have fear of what it all means and what the consequences may be for me. Why wouldn’t they? I will never ask my family to lower themselves and deface their sense of decency (based not at all on gay or not) by shoving their faces in the blatant lack of moral sensitivity. I wish they could join me in an AIDS walk or a PRIDE celebration one day. No sooner would I ask or expect them to take a field trip of a bath house.
Most of what we show the world is simply for shock value, to get a reaction, to say ‘fuck you! I am who I am, and you will never tell me who I can love!’ Well, I echo that sentient, fully! But, I would like to say ‘fuck you!’ in ways that show who I am and who I love, show them that is what they are judging and condemning! They are judging love and passion and something real and genuine and pure. Instead our ‘fuck you’ comes out confirming everything they are trying to condemn. In that endeavor, I join them. I condemn a culture that has no problem shoving every form of sexuality in the face of children--that has lost its morality and decency compass. It is no different than all those preachers who scream about how great God’s abundant love is and, without so much as a breath, bellow of His hate of faggots and dykes!
None of this is said in shame of who I am or in devaluing my gay brothers and sisters. I am proud that I am gay man. I have no shame in kissing the man I love. Kisses and hand holding, etc. should be done in public, if done for love’s sake and not to make a statement. I have no shame that I am sexual. I am not going to go to hell for having sex with men. However, I will loose who I am if I am not true to the belief that we are more than just animals, that I have more to offer as a gay man than just my cock, that we have an obligation to each other to show the true beauty, goodness, and brilliance that exists within our Gay kingdom (or queendom, whichever you prefer). Let’s promote safe sex, and NEVER be ashamed of who we are or even of what we do in the bedroom (and other places [on really good days]), but let us present ourselves with pride, honor, responsibility, class, and sensitivity! One of our stereotypes is that we, as gays, have the patent on style and taste. Let’s live up to that stereotype, shall we?