Speaking of...

I’m a-settin’ just a-jivin’ to Joss Stone’s new CD. Never really liked this kind of music before, but I have not be able to stop listening to her today. Doesn’t hurt that she is nearly as beautiful as a girl I had a crush on in high school. One might think that such a girl would have to be fairly masculine to capture the attention of such a die hard faggot, but no, she was (still is) one of the most femininely beautiful women on the planet. Of course she married a complete fucking ass-hole, but I guess that is better than marrying a gay guy. Of course, I would rather marry a gay boy than an asshole, but, whatever—to each his own. Lauryn Hill sings (raps) on one of the songs with Joss. I love her. I wish she would quit rapping and sing, since she has one of the best voices ever. Have you not seen Sister Act: Back in the Habit? If not, you’re probably not gay. If you have every song and dance move memorizes, you probably are gay. No equal rights for you. Better go off to your corner and sing about the theme to the Love Boat. Yep, it is going to be one of those blogs. The kind where you have no clue what I am talking about. You a get a pretty good look into how my brain functions. Lucky you. And, don’t even try; I’m able to burst out of those straight jackets.
Speaking of bursting, I am down to two pairs of jeans that I can fit into. Sure glad I ate an entire pizza by myself tonight. Just in time for my trip to Vegas in a few days. Don’t matter anyway, nothin’ in Vegas besides female strippers and midgets. Really, the one time I went to Vegas, there was a little midget (not that there are big midgets) dancing on a box in this club. The things they do in straight clubs… And they call gaydom an alternative lifestyle. I believe the correct term is ‘small person,’ for all you midgets out there who faithfully read my blogings, I apologize for my un-PC-ness. Feel free to call me a god-damned-faggot (Jerry Farwell does, as well as that Ann Coulter chick).
Speaking of faggots, there seems to something caught in my throat. (Even I can’t claim I don’t deserve Hell for that one.) I finally broke down and went to doctor today after five days of coughing, fever, chills, and body aches. It shows my progressive development that I was not convinced that I was going in to receive the word that I have AIDs and that I will die next week. Used to, it wouldn’t have mattered that I haven’t had sex in nine months and my last HIV test was more recent than that. Cheers (with green beer, of which I had none) to personal growth! The doctor said I had the flu and it is morphing into Bronchitis. I was relieved; after all, I was running out of things to be dramatic about. Let’s cross our fingers and hope for further progression to pneumonia or scurvy.
Speaking of scurvy, I have grown more solid in my assertion that humanity is a plague upon civilization. I first became disheartened of this state in the workings of the Church. Later, I came to see the same thing in the world of counseling. I most recently have been swamped by the sickness in graduate school. Now, I am facing the facts that it is everywhere in the teaching population as well. I must cancel my support of the “Save the Human” campaign, and transfer those funds to “Save the Ferrets in Botswana” movement. In all these places, I came to face the bitter facts that the majority of the humanoids are full of deceit, speaking kindly to one-another, smiling, and acting of sweetest intentions and not even waiting for the scent of the other person to evaporate before slitting their throat through their words, slander, and gossip (in all fairness, I guess I will admit if your odor is so saturating that it lingers much time after your presence, your throat is better off slit). People seem to simply want to hear the sounds of their own gurgling and piss over any small grains of purity or wisdom that may accidentally make an appearance from time to time. I don’t feel like I am above these things (there mere act of writing them is proof that I am not), but I can not grasp why we as educated, ‘sophisticated,’ cultured adults have less gentility than a gaggle of hyenas. I think this, more than any altruistic motivation, is the cause of my desire to work with children, and those that are deemed socially unacceptable and hostile. They are simply who they appear to be (most of the time) and when they are being manipulative little bitches, it is obvious they are being nothing other than what they are. In their blatant, self-centered, arrogance there is a measure of pure, undiluted honesty and even compassion, that is rare to come by in ‘polite’ society.
Speaking of the serine beauty of God’s children, through my sickness, I have had many heartfelt gestures from loved ones who embrace their bitchiness. Many offering to come by, some watching movies with me, calling to check in, even one offer to supply a dildo. Still waiting on that one… Well, I guess no one can be perfect… Through it all, those who have chosen to walk their lives along side me continue to show me the splendor of the light of who God is through their consistent passion, love, and genuine tenderness. Maybe I won’t give the ferrets all my money. Maybe…