tinky winky tellatubbie is safe--is that a good thing?

I have had multitudes of people contact me over the past day asking me my view point on the passing of Jerry Falwell. They are anxious to hear my enlightened words so that they can better adjust their viewpoint to match my brilliance. When I say multitude, I mean a few. When I say a few, I mean me.
I have battled my emotions over Falwell’s death. What should I feel? What is appropriate? What is genuine? What is honorable?
There is no love for him lost on my part. I am fairly certain I have referred to him within this blog in less than positive terms. In fact, upon hearing of his death, part of me thought, ‘about damned time.’ I logged onto Connexion (a gay site [not THAT kind], to read others’ thoughts. Most were celebrating, calling him names, throwing parties (literally), and ranting and raving over how much pain and torture they hope the man is experiencing in Hell at the moment. It disgusted me. How evil are such thoughts, such words. I believe COMPLETELY that Jerry Falwell was an vile, evil (wow, same letters, different words!) person, would did as much to drag God’s name through the mud as he did gays, women, and other minorities. Even so, for a community to rejoice in thoughts of a person suffering in Hell makes us no better than that man himself (who so very readily would have condemned me to Hell).
After my initial moral disgust at people’s reactions, however, I played a little game with myself (not THAT kind of game, sicko). What if this had been Osama’s death? Would I rejoice? Hell yeah! Would I attend a party in honor of his passing? Fuck yeah! Would I thank God for his death? You bettcha! Would I take pleasure from thoughts of his torturous time in Hell? No. I would not. I have no desire for Osama nor Falwell to be in Hell.
Then I pondered over my audaciousness to compare Falwell to Osama. Falwell never blew up a building with innocent people in it. I should not compare them. Then, I thought again. How many teenagers have killed themselves due to their guilt of the homosexuality due to his influence (did I not pray for death multiple times growing up to escape gayness)? How many parents disowned their child for being gay due to Falwell’s teachings? How many people did he lead down the path of hate? How much did he fulfill scripture that say that there will be those who use God’s name in relation to their evil deeds?
Accurate or not, I would say he is in the same league as Osama, even if they used different tools of mass corruptions and destruction.
Either way, it comes back to how often I am disappointed in my fellow man, first by the ‘Christian’ community and then by the gay community. When we will learn that we must be filled with compassion, integrity, goodness, and love? It need not require that we sanction evil people, but neither does it mean we lower ourselves to their level of sickness.
I hurt for Falwell’s family, for his wasted life, for the pain he has caused countless individuals and families.
I rejoice that God is bigger than mankind, straight and gay, and that who He is has nothing to do with who extremists on both sides say He is.
I look to a day where we learn to love and learn to live up to the respect and rights we deserve.