Trenton

We were all sitting together, fairly close to the front. Well, Grandma and Grandpa were on the front row of course, but Mom, Dad, and I were only a few rows back. The morning rays of sunlight streamed through the stained glass tinting the pews and floor of the church in a radiant spectrum of color. The heat was turned up enough to warm the sanctuary despite the mounds of snow covering the ground outside, up just enough to cause the congregation to be contentedly drowsy. The voices raised in song from the children on the raised platform in the front were off-key, un-syncopated, and a little screechy—Heaven’s angels could not have sung a more melodious anthem. Sounds of Christmas from the mouths of our little ones. Sappy, over-rated, perfection.
Ted was in the front row, between his two best friends--three year old Jeremiah, and Alice, technically she was his ‘girlfriend’, but whatever. The kids are about half-way through their program, only six more songs until the reached the conclusive ‘Silent Night.’ Before they had finished enlightening us upon the fate of ‘Three Wise Men,’ Ted turns to Alice and snakes his arms around her neck in and pulls her to him. Their lips met, her chubby little arms enveloped his waste, and they tumbled from their spots in the chorale. They managed to regain their balance while keeping their lips joined—impressive, really. The innocent kisses became impassioned, and the meaning of Christmas morphed into ‘The Young (albeit very young) and the Restless.’ Everyone watched, thinking that if they did nothing, they would soon grow bored and return to their singing. After a couple awkward minutes, it became apparent that boredom would not be achieved until St. Patrick’s Day or even Memorial Day. The children’s church director finally approached my little Casanova and reminded them of the sanctity of marriage, and privacy.
With red faces and sly glances and grins to our friends and neighbors, my family continued to watch the youngest of our clan proclaim to the world that he would never walk by the lines that others lay before him. However, return to singing he did, and Alice followed.
‘Hark, the Harold Angel Sings’ and ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ fulfilled their destiny from start to finish without interruption. Something about ‘It Came Upon a Midnight Clear,’ however, must have reminded Ted that it was cold outside. He looked down at his little legs. His knees poked out from his Khaki shorts; he looked adorable—short, dark blue long sleeve shirt and a little knit vest—simply precious. After observing his display of skin, Ted glanced over to his right at Jeremiah and took in his full length jeans, and then he pondered his own legs again. After a second, he turned his head to his left and took in Alice (even though one would think that he would have already have imprinted her upon his memory for eternity) and observed her long red velvet dress, which barely covered her shiny black Wonderland shoes.
I heard Mom gasp; always one step ahead of the rest of us. Ted returned his vision upon his naked calves. With lightening speed that would have made Santa’s reindeer green with envy, Ted grasped the edge of his shorts legs and yanked towards the grown. Sure, his knees were still not covered and his diaper was showing, but his calves and shoes were covered, just like his friends. With obvious pride and contentment, Ted returned his gaze to the people taking in the miracle of Christmas and belted out the final notes of the carol.
Even in embarrassment and compulsory humility, the family laughed as Mom rushed to the front of the church and returned Ted’s pants to the more conservative positioning, despite his vehement protests. Somehow, we all found this display an example of Ted’s budding independence, creativity, and ingenuity.