Wednesday, November 25, 2009

the sheath for a saber, apparently

Gay men are obsessed with sex, with orgasms, with nakedness, and think and talk, and write, and fantasize, and care about nothing else. This is what the vast majority of the world thinks about us. All of which is true really. However, no more than the average straight man. No more than any man.

Here’s the kicker. I’ve heard it before, but I didn’t really believe it. We might be a little obsessed with sex, but it is nothing compared to the level of importance that women give to sex.

I am now on the third book (of like twenty some) in the Dark series by Christine Feehan. They are a fantasy series for women. I have never read books with so much sex, and I’ve read books that are nothing but sex, gay erotic anthologies, and they have nothing on these books. Honestly, I’m truly not exaggerating in the slightest. Blows my mind.

Truly, I’m not sure how many times I need to hear about some heavy manhood sliding into a velvet sheath, or into her fiery heat, or the dew-laden treasure ‘neath her tight dark curls. Seriously? If I weren’t gay before, I would be now. It is honestly distracting to the point I’ve almost stopped reading. The sex scenes are so abundant and each one goes on forever. I like sex to take a long time, but really? Days? I actually am very intrigued by the story lines (which has the exact same characters [even thought they’re not supposed to be] and the exact same skeleton of a plot—however, she has some really cool ideas that I’ve never thought of before and takes some occasional twists on old schemas that are refreshing. However, in addition to all the explicit sex, there is a never-ending flow of lines like, ‘her laughter rang out, a sound that made you wish it would go on forever,’ and ‘the ache for her seared through him, the absence of her causing him physically agony.’ Geesh, girls!!! I thought I was the girliest thing out there revolving around love and the agony that goes with it, but apparently, I have been bested. Good lord. I’m not sure how many more of these of this series I can get through due to all the sex and such overly dramatic and gushy lines that make me lose reality with the characters, but I hope I can make it a few more as they are really fun adventures once you cut away all the crap.

And, again, I tell you, don’t believe the lie. We men, gay or straight, have nothing on the sex lives of women. True, we make act them out a bit more frequently, but I guarantee what goes on in their heads makes our intentions seem like nothing. Of course, maybe this is only true for female writers—however, the longevity of her career and the countless numbers of novels her female followers consume makes me think otherwise. Go girl power, you dirty little things, you!

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