Fuzzy Romance

I have had the most romantic morning I have had had in eight months. As I have mentioned before, ever since I was young, I dreamed of someday a man being moved enough to spontaneously dance with me in the kitchen. I never spoke of it to anyone. Well, my last relationship saw the fruition of that dream. It was every bit as wonderful as I imagined. More so, actually. Well, this morning, there was part two of that. Though never fantasized over, still, it was sweet. I have recently got back in touch with my love of country music and obsessively uploaded all my favorite country stuff on my Ipod. Well, one of those choice romantic songs came on today while I was in the kitchen. Wistfulness and touch of melancholy took hold for the man I lost. Instead of becoming a mess of tears, I took advantage of the two men that are still in my life. I bent down and scooped Dunkyn into my arms and we waltzed for a bit. Dolan then had his turn. It was a little more graceful with Dolan as he does not weigh forty pounds. While there was significantly less French kissing, it was nevertheless sweet and nice to be loved.
My two boys could not be more different from each other. I love them both, but am partial to Dunkyn, of course. He was my first, and slept with me faithfully for the worst six months of my life. We also have similar temperaments. I too, often feel the need to run in abject terror when in a room full of people, even those I know and love, I just hide it better. There are also times when he will look in my eyes and I can tell he is depressed or having a sad day, and others when he is purely content. You might say projection. You might. However, if you did, you would be wrong. My little one is constantly happy; abundantly full of joy and charisma. Dolan is the projection of who I would like to be, Dunkyn is my reality.
Sunday saw my favorite day of the year pass, the Superbowl. Oh, wait, that’s not true. I detest that day. However, this year was great. With only a few absent, my house was full of all the people I love the most in my life. It was wonderful. One more of those moments when I am reminded how amazing my life is and how immensely full of love. To watch JS and TB snuggle on my couch, completely at ease with the other and so obviously in love. To watch SM and TH flirt and tease and share cigarettes. Thank God for my pups. :) One of the best moments in TV history happened during this year’s Superbowl. The snickers kiss between the two male auto shop workers. I watched in shock. Complete. Gay marriage and equal rights can’t be too far away if two men can kiss during the most masculine day of the year. Although, be real, football is gay foreplay with cleats and spandex. Always has been.
While I was at the fish store today, I realized that it is the one area of my life that I willing let all my morals and integrity disappear. I openly, blatantly lied to the clerk. I was buying fish that you are not supposed to put together in a fish tank. He asked how many tanks I had, fishing to find out if I knew what I was doing. I looked him in the eye and said four. I really do have four, but only two that actually have water and fish in them. I know my freshwater fish and I know how to take care of them. I have been doing so all my life and know which ones they tell you can not cohabitate, but really can. I know I should feel ashamed and remorseful, but I don’t. I know such lies will send me to the pit, but I must be true to what I know. After all, they say two men can’t really love each other, but they wrong. They same is true for certain species of fish. In reality, I guess I am running my own underwater railroad. Glad to know that I have the courage that would have been required to hide those persecuted during Hitler’s reign.