The Faggot's Guide to Politics and Other Things Not Dealing with Fashion or Food

I have been in-between books on tape to listen to while I drive for about two weeks now. I love music, but realize when I listen to it on the radio, it all sounds the same and lame (same and lame rhyme, fyi), so I have been listening to Talk Radio. Lots of politics and Dr. Laura. I grew up listening to Dr. Laura, so it is still fun, even when I don’t agree with her, but most the time, she is right on. However, I have intentionally done my best over the past seven years or so to not watch news or listen to all the political bullshit that goes on. Now I remember why. There is never any good news, and you never know who to believe. Plus, there is really nothing I can do about much if any of it anyway. I even listened to George Bush’s speech last night. First time for everything. Must be getting really, really old. I don’t want to like George Bush, I think he has done horrible things for our education system, child, and healthcare services. However, I thought his plan made sense yesterday. It seemed fairly straight forward and real. If we are going to set up a new government for a country, the least we should do is hang around until it is stable. If that is possible, I have no idea, and I don’t really want any more of us to die to find out, but whatever…
While at school yesterday, I read a book about the Hitler Youth. I have never read about them before. This book had interviews with them and some of their victims. It struck me how history is dependent on the retelling. There is no question that the Holocaust was one of the worst things to ever transpire. However, looking from the Hitler Youth’s perspective, I was horrified to realize that I could understand their position. I don’t agree with their position, but I understood it. If I had been raised in that environment, I would have bought into it completely and been willing to be a martyr for cause. Most of these youth did not see the devastation of the concentration camps until after the war when American soldiers took them there to force them to face what they had been a part of. Even then, some of them felt it has been staged by America to brainwash them. What scares me, is that I have a zealot personality. I grew up a zealot for God and the church, and never questioned things until I was older. I was quick to let those people who were sinning know they were going to Hell. I knew I was going to Hell for who and what I am. I don’t feel that way now, obviously, but still. . . the things we are capable of believing, doing, and defending when we are trained is overwhelming.
I also read a part of book that several of my female students are reading, It (shockingly) was very Christian, and taught the girls how to pray for God to send them trials and hardships to make them stronger, have more faith, and be better people. It is true that we should be careful what we pray for. This very prayer was the one I prayed for constantly during high school, along with the prayer for wisdom. I wanted to prove myself worthy for God, to stand under any situation, and never question Him. Well, God answered those prayers, of course. The trials, temptations, tribulations, and pain have been a very consistent part of my life (as are joys, beauty, and wonderfulness). I am sure that teenage Brandon would look at the man I am now and see a failure who turned his back on all that was true and was not strong enough to follow God. Obviously, I don’t see it that way, and am still thankful for those hurts and trials. They have made me stronger, they have made me more loving, accepting, generous, and devoted. They have also given me wisdom, in some areas. At least, I realize I know so much less about the definites about life, love, and God than I ever realized. Surely being aware of your lack of wisdom is in and of itself wisdom. My favorite verse (martyr complex coming up) was always Job 13:15: “Though You slay me, I will praise You” [varies on the translation of course]. I still love that verse, it may even work its way into a tattoo one day, we will see. I am not sure if I have lived up to that verse. I have not praised God through every trial and hurt. Much of the time I have been kicking, screaming, cursing. In some ways, my love for God may be more conditional than before. If God is truly as judgmental and condemning as I believed Him to be, then I want nothing more to do with Him. However, I feel I have a better sense of who God is than I did before, even though I have more questions and doubts than ever before.
And on questioning things and being somewhat controversial, may I point out one more thing? This whole Sadam Husein thing I find completely ridiculous. And, of course, I am coming at this from a hick point of view still I suppose and one that is unaware of all the consequences, and such, but still… What is the big fucking deal? We have been trying to capture this fucker since I was in the early stages of Jr. High. I remember him being presented as the antichrist. We have done how much fighting and war because of this one man? He was captured, put on trial, and convicted to die. Since I could never personally sentence anyone to death myself, as I feel I do not have such a right, I am opposed to the death penalty. However, I have no problem with someone else doing it, so in that sense I am fickle. But, no matter how you cut it, the boy was gonna die. They allowed cameras there to tape part of it (I watched to where they put the black cloth around his neck and realized I had no desire to see anyone die—no matter what they had done, and quickly turned off MSN), who really thought that someone was not going to tape the whole thing and let others see it? This has happened too many times for anyone with half a brain to expect that. Those that say they felt it would not happen or are shocked are either fucking brain dead or complete liars. And still, why are we so concerned about what they were saying when he was hung, how much respect they showed his body and what they did afterwards. This is the man responsible for thousands of murders, for wars, for so much death and pain. This is a man the US has been trying to kill for well over a decade. Finally, after an embarrassingly long time, that goal was accomplished. I don’t wish him to hell, I don’t wish him further pain, nothing; however, I am not going to waste one once of sympathy for his death and what transpired around it. The only sadness for him are the things that must have happened in his life to cause him to be the man he became. Are we going to say these same things in forty years when we finally catch Osama and someone ends his miserable life? Will we be shocked that people were not respectful enough of his body? Probably. We have a tendency to be stupid, repeatedly.
Wow, went off a little there didn’t I? Especially for a topic that I have no real knowledge or qualification of which to comment. But, I am American. Since when do I need to be informed or accurate to have an option or viewpoint?
On that note. I really do feel Brittney Spears is going to make a comeback. She is going to do a whole much more dumb stuff, but she is gonna have killer body back, and a rocking CD. Why couldn’t Sadam and Ossama been a little more like Brittney? Or Ricky Martin for that matter. That would be a fun bunker to be held up in for weeks at a time. Sigh… I am going to dream of being a soldier tonight!!!