Waisting Time

Today is the first day of classes for the new semester. I need to buy books and complete some assignments for my on-line class. I wanted to do some writing for a project I am undertaking. I needed to drop off my substitute teaching application. What have I done today? NOTHING. I have been on-line for hours. I discovered MySpace. Yes, I know, a little behind the times, pleases feel free to keep your judgmental opinions to yourself. ;) One of the things my summer of hurt and introspection has made me face is that I have completely abandoned amazing people I grew up with, who I loved. Part of that is due to a very busy life, trying to discover my identity and come to grips with who I am, and a huge aspect has been fear of their reaction to learning of my fagottry (love that word). Well, MySpace is fixing that quickly. I found my cousin PC and my dear friend TS. PC and I have known each other since we were both born, and TC since second grade. I am almost giddy with the discovery of these people. While I don't yet know their reaction to who I am today, I am glad I am taking the chance. They are worth it. We all have changed, gone through many hurts, trials, and successes; in some ways, we are all different people than we once were. Don't believe me: go to my space and check out my site. It has a song my cousin recorded--he is amazing!
I have also discovered wasting time. I rarely waste time. I rarely have time to waste. (I don't consider reading books a waste of time, so those of you that know I spend hours pouring over my novels, shh.) I feel a little guilty, but not really. I am slowly coming to terms that life is not meant to be lived rushing to accomplish one thing and then another. Life is also about just living, and breathing, not moving. Strange experience. Give it a shot. And, while you do that, find some of the people you love who you have let slip away or shut out and tell them you love them. Bet they still love you, too.