Wednesday, April 13, 2011

cold cream

Made another small step forward today. I bought ice cream. The new Blue Bell kind. I was afraid to give into the hype. Mainly because of the name, but also because of the hype. Blue Bell reminds me of Blue Bunny. And, while you might think that a product with the mascot of an adorable bunny couldn’t lead you astray, you’d be wrong. It’s some of the worst ice cream I’ve ever tried. Blue Bell, on the other hand, lived up to they hype (unlike The Shack). I think I may have gotten off-topic…… the small step was not the ice cream. I’ve been an ice cream whore my whole life, nothing new there. However, I was driving past HWMNBN’s and my grocery store and thought, “I’m gonna get ice cream.” Then kept driving so I could go to another grocery store. Then I realized I was being stupid. It’s been two years since I’ve stepped into that grocery store. Time to get that over with. We’d do our grocery shopping on Sundays and listen to ‘Sandcastle Disco’ in the car, and I loved every minute of it. Simply living our life together. Simple, pure, honest. Then, not so much. However, it was time. I turned the car around, parked, and bought the ice cream. I didn’t make a big production or meaningful symbolic gesture. Neither did I rush or advert my eyes from our favorite aisles (which would have been impossible, since ice cream was one of our favorite aisles}. I just bought the fucking ice cream. I think there are now only a few more things I have to face and then I will be done. Earl’s restaurant, which I’m not sure how I will face, as it was my first birthday dinner with him, followed by an amazing night; San Diego, which I plan to face in 2012; San Francisco, which I honestly don’t think I will ever face; and Rio Grande, which is his favorite restaurant, and they have my favorite homemade tortillas (outside of Old Town in San Diego). I gotta get that on out of the way soon. I think those might be the only places left that I have yet to force myself to go. Only four. Not too long ago the list would have been well over a page long. Four’s not too bad. However, I’m sure I’m forgetting something or somewhere, but whatever.
Who else could make buying ice cream a completely self-absorbed and over-analyzed experience that they had to write nearly a page about? I drive myself crazy.


Cheeseburgers and Pajamas said...

I think it is good that you may have forgotton some of "your Places" and just live. They are only places. In my experience, when I did finally go back to "our places", they had changed and so had I. It was different in mixed ways and I moved on. You get to a point where those memories attached to places and things have less power over you. What a great feeling of release! It will only get better :)

Cheeseburgers and Pajamas said...

Hey B, check out "Sorrow Nevermore" by K.D.Lang (on her new cd). It is a perfect song when it is time to move on with life. I love it!