Wednesday, May 04, 2011

the could be worse reasons

Salazar (the salamander, keep up) has grown to such a level that the ten gallon terrarium was no longer sufficient. He couldn’t turn around on the land part or the water part; therefore, I had to purchase a new aquarium last night. I promise, you could actually see the joy on Salazar and the toad’s (Pansy, Narcissa, Delores, and Petunia) faces as they entered their new domain. Really.
I spent my morning before school setting up the new habitat and doing a couple other things as well: ripping my pants, again, breaking a pair of scissors, breaking the old fish tank, and dumping the container of seventy or eighty crickets on my classroom floor. And that was all before eight in the morning. I was ready to run full speed into the wall in hopes of gaining unconsciousness.
One of my co-workers asked me if my. . . gayhood. . . was just to large to fit in normal pants. I, of course, simply said yes.
The conversations teachers have. Never would have dreamed.
Speaking of, the fifth graders are going through the sex ed curriculum right now. Six weeks long and VERY intensive. I wish I would have had it. I learned several things going through it last year. One little girl came up to the teacher after the first day, and returned the book to her. In a very reprimanding and shocked voice she asked, “Ms. H, did you know what was in this book when you gave it to us?!?!?”
There is a box in the class that you can put anonymous question about anything you want the teacher to ask. She reads the question aloud and then gives an answer. The question was this: Will your penis continue to grow as the rest of you grows, or will it stay the same? The answer was this: Yes, your penis will continue to grow in relation to your whole body. The response: A dark haired boy in the middle of the room doing an arm pump and trying to say ‘YES!’ under his breath and failing utterly. So much for anonymity.

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