You and I

You dropped my hand in the middle of our beginning
I spent the year between pause and rewind

You were my lover and best friend, the first I ran to
I, even now, have to stop myself from dialing your number with news

You loved me more than anyone you’d ever know, you said
I was your fool to loose

You said you couldn’t handle the thought of another touching me
I told you they never would; maybe I should have been more coy

You were the one I planned to marry, to share my life
I was the one you wanted for the moment

You were the one who swore I’d be the one to leave
I was the one that got left

You moved on, party, work, laugh, party
I crumbled, shattered, and broke

You still have lunches with me, give me hugs, kiss my cheek
I fear the sound of your voice, the beauty of your face—and their absence

You move on, party, work, laugh, party
I become someone new, I couldn’t be me without you

There you are.
Still the life of the party. Still in the heat of the moment.
Never looking back. Seemingly never ahead.
Still the man I love. Still the best friend I’ve ever had.
You don’t think of me or miss me. You’re happier now.
You are you.

Here I am.
Becoming a stranger. Letting who I was die so I can be free of you.
Always looking back. Seemingly always ahead.
Realizing I can learn to love again, that I have to. Missing the best friend I ever had.
I still think of you and miss you. I’m learning to smile and laugh with another.
I am someone new.