following the crowd

I’ve been sick of the book “The Shack” almost from the first moment I heard of it. There will be spoilers in this blog. If you have yet to read this book and want to, stop reading now… The fact that fifteen billion people have told me, “Oh, you just have to read it. It’s wonderful. It would really help you.” hasn’t helped my desire to read it. The only thing that made it a tad bit appealing was that so many people in the religious community called it sacrilegious. However, since everything, including Olive Oil Mayonnaise has been sacrilegious at one point or another, that didn’t hold that much allure. (I do agree about the O.O. Mayo. Sinful.) I can’t stand books that the whole world says are life changing and a must-read to help you have a better understanding of God or help you be a better person. Partly because I haven’t seen anyone actually changed by such a book, and partly just because I’m an arrogant asshole who doesn’t like to be told what to do and thinks he’s better everyone else that needs to be bossed around by the book-of-the-moment. However, when I saw it on the list of sale books on my Audible website (where I get a lot of my audio books) for five bucks, I hit BUY.
I started it the day HWMNBN and I had coffee (actually neither one of us had coffee), I figured if there was ever a day I’d be willing to listen to self-help drivel, that would be it. I’m about a fourth of the way through it. For the first hour, I about turned it off twenty or thirty times. The guy reading sounds like a Sunday School teacher, and, especially with the tonsils, gagging just isn’t much fun. However, I pushed through (aren’t I tough?), and I’m rather sucked in. I can’t say I love it yet, but it is about a family (father, mainly) trying to deal with the murder of his eight year old daughter. That, more than the God factor, has kept me going. That aspect lets me forgive certain passages that would typically induce the gagging around how they speak about God, as I’m sure I would cling to tons of stupid things if I were in those shoes. Having a child in the family makes the book relevant for me. This morning, the man made his way to the actual shack, finally, where they found the bloody dress of his little girl (they never found the body) three years previous. The father broke, screaming, crying, ranting, and raving at God. Full of questions, full of hate, full of despair. I, of course, was crying right along with him. Partly due to imagining Gavin being lost to me, partly due to my own God issues. While I’m still confident that Monday was the right decision, it has definitely increased the crying. Oh, so fun. I’m going to see the book through. I want to see what happens, and I’m extremely curious how in the world people have complained about this book being sacrilegious. So far, it’s been Sunday School sickenly sweet. My rage, hurt, disillusion, questions, and such about God are too similar to what is brought up in the book. It really would be nice to have something said in a new light, a way that I haven’t thought of, something that could give me a little different insight into God. I don’t have much hope of that. Even if it didn’t answer any questions, I would be okay with that as well. However, I’m fearful of the same pat answers, cliché, and excuses that everything else offers. We will see…