Wednesday, April 06, 2011

following the crowd

I’ve been sick of the book “The Shack” almost from the first moment I heard of it. There will be spoilers in this blog. If you have yet to read this book and want to, stop reading now… The fact that fifteen billion people have told me, “Oh, you just have to read it. It’s wonderful. It would really help you.” hasn’t helped my desire to read it. The only thing that made it a tad bit appealing was that so many people in the religious community called it sacrilegious. However, since everything, including Olive Oil Mayonnaise has been sacrilegious at one point or another, that didn’t hold that much allure. (I do agree about the O.O. Mayo. Sinful.) I can’t stand books that the whole world says are life changing and a must-read to help you have a better understanding of God or help you be a better person. Partly because I haven’t seen anyone actually changed by such a book, and partly just because I’m an arrogant asshole who doesn’t like to be told what to do and thinks he’s better everyone else that needs to be bossed around by the book-of-the-moment. However, when I saw it on the list of sale books on my Audible website (where I get a lot of my audio books) for five bucks, I hit BUY.
I started it the day HWMNBN and I had coffee (actually neither one of us had coffee), I figured if there was ever a day I’d be willing to listen to self-help drivel, that would be it. I’m about a fourth of the way through it. For the first hour, I about turned it off twenty or thirty times. The guy reading sounds like a Sunday School teacher, and, especially with the tonsils, gagging just isn’t much fun. However, I pushed through (aren’t I tough?), and I’m rather sucked in. I can’t say I love it yet, but it is about a family (father, mainly) trying to deal with the murder of his eight year old daughter. That, more than the God factor, has kept me going. That aspect lets me forgive certain passages that would typically induce the gagging around how they speak about God, as I’m sure I would cling to tons of stupid things if I were in those shoes. Having a child in the family makes the book relevant for me. This morning, the man made his way to the actual shack, finally, where they found the bloody dress of his little girl (they never found the body) three years previous. The father broke, screaming, crying, ranting, and raving at God. Full of questions, full of hate, full of despair. I, of course, was crying right along with him. Partly due to imagining Gavin being lost to me, partly due to my own God issues. While I’m still confident that Monday was the right decision, it has definitely increased the crying. Oh, so fun. I’m going to see the book through. I want to see what happens, and I’m extremely curious how in the world people have complained about this book being sacrilegious. So far, it’s been Sunday School sickenly sweet. My rage, hurt, disillusion, questions, and such about God are too similar to what is brought up in the book. It really would be nice to have something said in a new light, a way that I haven’t thought of, something that could give me a little different insight into God. I don’t have much hope of that. Even if it didn’t answer any questions, I would be okay with that as well. However, I’m fearful of the same pat answers, cliché, and excuses that everything else offers. We will see…

4 comments:

Scott said...

Funny…I’d thought of you in relation to The Shack in the past because this was the author’s first attempt at writing anything…and it became a blockbuster best seller…it can happen to you!

I don’t want to give away anything, but let’s just say the book made me squirm…for really good reasons and bad reasons.

Also, I usually listen to jazz or classical on my satellite radio when I read and during that book, I switched over to the spa/new age station…it seemed to fit the mood better.

P.S. Fractals are cool

Avenjer said...

Hmm, I know the feeling, I remember when "Titanic" came out in the 90's and everybody and their mother was talking about it. I had no interest but, had to suffer through the constant chatter in the media and in the public. Not to mention that damn Celine Dion song playing over and over on the radio every 10 minutes. And those awful heart necklaces being sold everywhere. But 3 years later I sat down and watched it and enjoyed it---on my own terms---not other people's or their opinions of it. Sometimes the hype is too much. And the public latches on to things just to latch on to something. Or they don't want to miss out on what everyone else is up to. "Keeping up with the Jones'." But just wanted to say I think you're doing well with all the HWMNBN stuff. When we're really in love with someone, even when it's over we want them to be happy in life. And can be supportive most of the time, because a part of us will always care about them. And then there are the other guys we date, when it's over it's more like "don't let the door hit you in the ass." But either way. Life moves on. And seeing any of them in public requires being an adult about it. Being cordial, and knowing your own limits to how much of that person we can stand---good or bad. So, you know your current limits, he knows your current limits of him and you're working towards dealing with him in public or expanding your limits---or not, in the public eye. Which you have to so you can operate in public and meet all your new guys, and be social with friends again. And I think he wants you to be happy too, and wants you to be social again and put yourself out there to date new guys. Anyway, I think it's a good plan.

Brandon said...

Scott, what's a fractal? And I'm anxious to see how I feel at the end...
Avenjer, thanks for the support as always. I hope we're right! :)

Brandon said...

Scott, what's a fractal? And I'm anxious to see how I feel at the end...
Avenjer, thanks for the support as always. I hope we're right! :)