Monday, February 28, 2011

flounder for president

For the briefest of moments this morning, I was Ariel as I stepped out the door. Not with the long, flowing red hair I always wanted. Sadly, not with the tail. But, still. I’m not sure if it is a squirrel with an identity crisis or a bird with multiple personality disorder, but either way, one of them has the call of a dolphin down perfectly. As I stepped outside, the dolphin’s chatter greeted me, causing the salt-water breeze to flow, the sunrise glisten from the top of the waves, the seals lounging in La Jolla. Then it all crashed down into a normal Monday. . . but just for a second, it was something special. Although bird or squirrel with that talent or delusion is pretty special all on its own.
Even more off his rocker than my oceanic rodent-avian friend, Alan Keys, writer for World Net Daily, has taken stupidity to a whole new level. Alan is a very dark skinned African-American. From the picture I saw, a rather handsome man, actually. Probably was a very handsome man ten years ago. He was talking about Obama’s new stance on DOMA (this shows how ignorant I am—I always thought DOMA was something to do with finance—Never been good with acronyms. Finally put Defense Of Marriage Act together with its corresponding letters). Mr. Keys, amidst lots of other brilliant diatribes said that letting gays marry ‘is like granting plantation owners the right to own slaves.’ First and foremost, hasn’t this moron ever watched Will & Grace? It’s not the gays who have servants, it’s the Karen Walker’s of the world, and even then, it’s Rosario, who didn’t even have a cameo in Haley’s Roots. Second, if you’re going to be bigoted enough to deny other minorities the same rights as yourself, Alan, at least pick an analogy that doesn’t require six entire atlases to enable the reader to make a tenuous connection. (The sad thing, as I did the smallest amount of research on Mr. Keys, I discovered, that once again, in all other political endeavors, I am nearly 100% on board with this jackass. That gets really old.) And speaking of politicians I can’t stand, I have to say, I am very, very grateful for his stance on DOMA. While he still isn’t for gay-marriage (whatever), the very existence of DOMA is so blatantly discriminatory (regardless of your religious or personal beliefs) it’s impossible for me to see how anyone with an ounce of common sense and belief in American freedom can support it, and I respect him for not kowtowing to what could be an easier position to take on an issue that could have won him points with his adversaries.

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