Thursday, February 17, 2011

pills for everything

I’m back on the full dosage of the antidepressant medication. I did this due to a friend’s urging. I hate it. I don’t want to be dependent on those stupid things any longer. However, I guess if it helps, great. I don’t know if that is the issue this time or not. Hope it helps. Maybe it will. There have been moments I’ve been on the verge of the kind of sobbing that happened the few months after he left. So far, I’ve been able to refrain. Maybe the stupid little pills will block that again. I don’t need to go through that stage of grief again.

Pet News:
My massage fish tank (85 gallons) was truly gorgeous. Filled with tons of huge, stunning goldfish of every variety. It really was one of the most beautiful goldfish tanks I’ve ever seen. In a span of less than a week, it went from being stunning to a concentration camp. I walked in one day (the day before everything was great), and half of the fishes’ fins were shredded, some already gone. I’ve seen fin rot before, but I’ve never seen anything of the like before, nothing so fast, so violent. Fifty dollars of medication later and a few days hence, all the fish are gone, dying horribly painful and debilitating deaths. Three of them were the first fish HWMNBN and I picked out years ago—they were so tiny when we got them, and they were getting huge. There is one left, but barely. It was horrible watching. They were in such pain and there was nothing I could do. I did everything the medicine told me to do, spent a ton of money. Nothing. I have almost been afraid to put my hand in to retrieve the bodies. It was like a zombie epidemic or something. It will be even less fun to give massages now without that tank to get lost in.
Dunkyn and Dolan are making progress on their diet (I should take lessons)—especially Dolan, mainly due to the fact that he hangs out with me after I feed them in the morning until I walk out the door, while Dunkyn scarfs things down while Dolan is distracted. However, neither one are limping due to obesity, so that’s good news! See, I can talk about happy things!

1 comment:

Cheeseburgers and Pajamas said...

I'm glad you are getting out of the darkness. Hang on!!! You are stronger than you think.