therapy notes

I am getting ready to spend an entire evening writing on the novel, which I am nervously looking forward to.

I had my first therapy session today. No big revelations or anything. Of course I want him to just fix it. Make me quit hurting, make Chad choose our love over what he is choosing, makes things right. Of course, he can’t. I sorta expected him to say that I needed to get a grip and look at reality. Instead, he said that he was impressed with how well I am handling things (Yes, I told him about the incessant weeping, etc, etc.). He said that it is obvious that I truly love and am in love with Chad and that I was obviously committed, and that since I don’t shut off my feelings out of fear that I am feeling exactly what he would expect. I’m glad I’m not going nuts. Still, I wish he had the magic answer, the switch, the whatever.

Well, now off to write in fantasyland, about two lovers who truly are committed and love each other. Well, at least until they find less real and substantial things that comes along. Then all bets are suddenly off. Fuck fairy tales with reality endings!