#400

2009—the year of love showing Brandon how he is destined for eternal happiness with a wonderful man.

Oh, wait, that was 2007 and 2008. 2009 was the exact opposite. And, just in case I hadn’t gotten the message, it sent me another tonight.

So, at the very beginning of dating the man who I thought I’d marry, we were both dating other people. Not in a dating other people way, but simply going on dates. Well, one of these men that I went on a couple dates with and considered taking things to the next level until fell in love with Him, moved away, and was back in town this week. He got in contact with me. We went out for dinner a few nights ago and caught up. After, he asked to see me again. We made plans for this evening at five. He kept texting me like he was excited about it. I was looking forward to seeing him—not because I have any romantic feelings, but simply because he is sweet and it is nice to be with someone sweet right now.

Of course, today, he didn’t respond to my text confirming the time, and then promptly stood me up. A more fragile person would have gotten weepy and taken it personally. That obviously it was a sign that I’m not good enough for others to want to be with. To stay with. To marry.

Luckily, I am not one of those people.

Actually, I probably am. However, I am too numb to give a shit. It was more like, ‘well, that figures and that was rude.’ Followed by a fun little, ‘Fuck you.’

In all honesty, it truly made me laugh. The good thing about Him leaving me, is that it makes almost all the other bad or hurtful things that happen seem like nothing. What can compare? It was just one more little jab from my-so-called-life.

So, if life was really trying to send me one more jab this year to leave me in tears and not in laughter, it needs to try again. You’ve got four more days, fuck you, bitch.