No tears!!! None! Maybe that is actually a bad sign, but I’m gonna say its good. And, hopefully, something that will last. (Although I got teary when he told me about his New Year’s Eve travel plans—this time last year we were getting ready for our New Years in San Francisco.) After a few minutes into lunch, I was talking my head off, once again with my best friend. So natural. So needed. There’s never been anyone that I have felt as home with as him, from day one. Part of me wished that weren’t still true, but it is. I don’t know why he wants to see me. He doesn’t miss me. He doesn’t wish we were together. He doesn’t love me. No matter. Doesn’t change how I feel, unfortunately. I’m glad I saw him. Even if it does hurt. I don’t get it. I don’t get it. On, a good note, he proved that he doesn’t read this blog (which I am thrilled about). He bought me two Christmas tree decorations (both totally me) and he wanted me to open them now so that I could put them on my tree before Christmas. I didn’t tell him there is no tree this year.
I am going to stop this conversation here, both for your benefit and for my own. Plus, no need to bring myself to tears in DazBog, yet again.
Now to keep walking and talking and breathing.