Sunday, February 07, 2010 to wipe up the mess...

I just returned home to my vomiting puppies from dropping my bff off at his house and found a roll of paper towels on my porch. Very sweet! Thank you whoever did that. Very timely, too. With Dunkyn puking for three days and now Dolan starting (not having any paper towels), I have literally used every actual towel I have, so they will come in handy tonight! Since I spent all day doing massages, I can actually go out and buy more tomorrow—as well as detergent! I have discovered you can refill your detergent container like three times with water before it stops being soapy! So, it’s time for new now! Yay recession!

It’s been interesting with sick puppies. I had been saving to take them to the vet for way too long and finally took them two weeks ago—got them all caught up on shots and everything. They never get sick. They always have weak stomachs and all that goes along with that, but never sick. So of course, they get sick now, after trying to make sure they stay well. I was really scared for Dunkyn two nights ago. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. He was barely walking, ended up not eating for three days. I just lay on the couch and held him. He is almost back to normal now—thank God, I couldn’t handle loosing him. And, now Dolan is starting in. He’s a lot stronger then Dunk, so he’ll be fine. Plus, he’s not as smart, so he keep chugging water, only to throw it all up again, so that will probably help him not get as dehydrated.

So, by the time I see the boy I’ve been dating next, we will have seen each other exactly three hours in three weeks. Pretty poor timing. Or maybe the timing is perfect. Who knows. This three week hiatus started right at the anniversary, and for some reason, I haven’t been the same since. The day of was a lot better than I feared—mainly being with PCSV&LDRL for Project Runway night. However, since the day after, it’s sorta like he left me all over again—except not nearly as painful, not a tons of tears or anything—just continual awareness of the hole deep in me where all he took with him used to be. Maybe it would be have been easier if I could have been looking forward to going on dates with someone I care about—even when neither of us know where, if any, this thing is going. Maybe, however, I’m supposed to feel this. I can’t help think that’s not quite right though. Why should only one of us be supposed to feel this? I know he doesn’t. Why do I?

On a wonderful note, I got to work on the novel for a couple hours yesterday. Finished reading it again (the fantasy—not the one that got rejected). It had been long enough that I had forgotten several things. It’s funny how something you wrote could surprise you, but parts of it did. It was a really fun experience, actually. I really liked most of what I’d written, and I have a pretty clear view of things I want to change and a few sections I want to add. I’m a little nervous about the new sections, since it will be from another character’s point of view, which I wasn’t going to do until the second book, but got try it and see what happens. I hope to have some time to starting writing that tomorrow. I don’t know why writing is so therapeutic for me—especially when it’s not even about things that are real, but I feel so much more whole when I am doing it.

Speaking of things that make me feel whole, if you are on facebook, you need to get on my brother’s profile and see three video’s of Gavin: one eating sweat potato baby food and the other two laughing at our folks dogs as they play ball with him. There is nothing more soothing than a baby that you love’s laughter.

No comments: