outofthebleu

I just returned from my bff’s birthday party. I’m going to officially quit saying that I have any insight whatsoever into my own psyche. I wasn’t worried about my emotional state at all for this event. The crowd was small and no one I am uncomfortable with (like we don’t know who that means), in fact several people I love more than life were there. There were two couples and one single girl and one single guy (beside myself). So, I shouldn’t have felt like a third wheel. I don’t know what it was. I hate feeling lonely, but it is so much worse when you are around people, people you love, and you feel so utterly and completely alone. Alone. I’m really tired of missing him. I’m tired of being his fool for no reason.