lingering chocolate wine

Complaints (cause what would my blog be without more complaints):

***Snow: broke my passenger side windshield wiper (not the blade—the wiper), and made it where I barely got home (TDC had to literally push me to get my car moving)—wasn’t even that much snow!

***The weekend is over: still exhausted and didn’t get to write! However, wonderful time with friends

***(Fill in the proverbial blank: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ )

Happy Things:

***Dunkyn and Dolan

*** Bedtime in a few minutes

***Disgustingly straight vampire romances on my iPod

***Nephew

(see, more happy than complaints!)

Blog:

It really was a great weekend. The boy I’ve been seeing and I actually had an honest to goodness date yesterday—an all day date. It was very nice. He took me to a dinner (which I could NEVER afford)—a wonderful Italian place and to this fancy movie theater where they give you free popcorn and coke (cherry)! It was fantastic. I don’t know if I’ve shared this before, but he was also in a two plus year relationship where he thought he was going to get married, with a really great guy, ended sortta out of the blue, completely devastate. We actually haven’t talked about on any of our dates, until for about five minutes at dinner last night. It was the first time I really felt someone truly got nearly everything I felt. Every word out of his mouth could have been from me, and has been in this blog—including, that if his man came back this instant, he would take him back in a heartbeat. I know most people would probably find this a really bad thing to say to someone else on a date, but it is exactly where I am as well (duh), it made me feel safe with him, knowing that he truly understands what my life is like right now. His is the same.

Tonight was a really nice Mexican dinner with friends (some of my oldest friends, some). I don’t understand myself. It can be so hard to force myself to see my friends still and actually have the nerve to speak. It truly takes everything in me to make myself be a part of the conversations. With a room full of strangers or people that I’ve barely met, I am charming, witty, clever, and dynamic. With most of the people I should be the most comfortable with, I’m a wallflower and anxious to run away.

You’d think I need therapy. I think just need more cheeseburgers, cookie dough, and icing.