choose your hill to die on when you choose your battles

I am at war with McDonalds. Not really. But kinda. The kind of war they don’t know about. Breakfast has always been a bit of an issue with me. I hate breakfast food. At least the normal kind. The ones I do like, such as breakfast burritos from trendy restaurants are expensive, huge, and take a lot of time to have in the morning. And, once I eat a normal sized breakfast, I am ravenous the rest of the day—no idea why. I hate donuts and such for breakfast. I’d rather have cereal for dessert or something. I’d much rather have pizza or cheeseburgers or something. And my breakfasts at Starbucks are expensive and nothing but sugar. As a result, I’ve found myself compromising. I’ve been making my coffee at home much more often and then going to McDonalds and getting a single biscuit with what amounts to ¾ slice of bacon crumbled in it. This biscuit and bacon has always cost $1.03. Much better than the six or seven bucks I spend at Starbucks and I don’t feel too badly about eating it—no sugar, barely any bacon. Just enough to trick me into feeling like I’ve eaten something without triggering the gorging response most breakfasts induce in me throughout the day. This week, there is a new lady at the drive up window. Yesterday, she charged me $3.something for my bacon biscuit. After a bit of arguing, I paid her and drove off in a huff that lasted most of the day. Stupid things make me angry. I’ve heard it said that my grandfather, who was notoriously sweet, unassuming, and martyrish had a similar issue. You could stab him in the back with a sword and he’d turn around and pay your mortgage for the month. However, give him a broken toothpick and he’d be mortally offended. Maybe I’m a bit that way myself. Anyway, I went back this morning. I’ve noticed that the stupid recording that comes on when you drive up, trying to sell you their latest hip item, is often the voice of whoever is at the window, just pre-recorded. So, when a man’s voice asked me if I wanted to try their new whateveritis, I was very happy and said no, but that I’d like a biscuit with bacon. The damned woman’s voice came on and told me it would be $3.something. I argued, snow blowing in my face, into my car. She was charging me the same price as a McMuffin. You know with the egg, cheese, sausage, and muffin. I pointed this out, inquiring how my solitary bacon pieces biscuit could possibly cost the same. She responded that she was going to get her manager. I took my car and plowed into the ordering screen that was flashing her stupid McMuffin with a lot of alterations.

Not really. Although I wanted to. I simply replied that she need not bother, that I’d take my business elsewhere and not return. I’m not Lovin’ It.

I hate stupid people. Unless I’m one of them, then they’re pretty great.