I’ve just spent the past hour watching Chopped with both puppies in my lap. That’s one hundred pounds of dog. Thank goodness they had a bath before the surgery. It has been really nice to spend so much more time with them. While I have been with my family A LOT, once again, it is so apparent how dependant I am on the dogs. Of course, thoughts of HWMNBN have come up quite a bit, but loneliness has yet to be an issue due to family and dogs. However, with many friends, some of the effect of me pulling away and keeping to myself so much has most definitely become evident this week. At first, I was actually a little hurt, then I got over myself. I’ve not been a good friend in a long, long time. My friends have been better to me than I have been to them. I hope to change that in the next couple months.
It has been an interesting recovery so far. Much less painful than I was expecting. Of course, from what people said, I was anticipating extreme agony. It hurts—I have trouble sleeping due to pain in my ears from swelling, I can barely talk, and it takes forever to eat, but it’s not near as bad as what people said. However, mom has always said I handle being sick and hurting better than most people. I would chose physical pain over emotional pain any day of the week—that I don’t handle as well as most people, as evident by my life.
I am going to call the doctor tomorrow. I’m pretty sure they are going to have to go back in and stitch some things up. I can feel a flap of skin resting on my tongue a lot of the time. When I look in, it seems to be part of what was stitched that connect my jaw to the flesh moving up to the form the roof of my mouth. I can see where the stitch used to be that held that flap in place and it now looks like cut meat, so I’m willing to bet that ain’t right. On the right side, there is a slab that resembles those mummy or zombie movies, when their cheeks are shredded and you can see through their gapping holes… Yeah, there’s one of those back there. I’m less sure of the incorrectness of this one, however—I’m mean, they did chop out parts of my throat, there’s gonna be holes. If you’re bored, look up tonsillectomy on youtube. It’s pretty awesome. Made me glad they put me out! Although, if they go back in to do more work, I really hope they don’t have to put me out again. Just such a hassle.
I was hoping to make a lot of progress on the planning of Submerging’s sequel, but that isn’t going to happen. While the pain isn’t killing me, it’s enough that I can’t think clearly and it seems to be taking me forever to process anything. Also won’t being doing massages like I thought I would, at least not by tomorrow or anything. Which is going to make this next week tight. T.I.G.H.T. That spells tigger. Oh, wait. If I don’t have to be put under, I will force myself to accept some by Wednesday so I can make it though the week. I will just schedule a few hours on the couch after. It has amazed me how everything wears me out. Makes me feel really old and weak. I was also hoping to start working out this week. Yeah, not even a slight chance!
My computer was out of commission the past little bit, but is back now, finally time (yay!), so I am very grateful—that will help recovery. Getting to spent three(ish) days with Gavin is worth any amount of surgery as well!
Black Coffee Tables
1 year ago