quickie

The BBQ was fun last night. It was good to see people I love and hear how they have been. (JS’s new tattoo is beyond sexy, btw.) More than anything, just to simply be in their presence. Sometimes I forget how beautiful my friends are.
Having been (and continuing to be) so extremely busy—I haven’t even had time to work out in a couple days or go to the coffee shop and write, really write—has reminded me how much I USED to enjoy being single. Also, being around people (no, not those at the BBQ), has reminded me how bored I can get with others, or at least how much it makes me need some Brandon time. I think this is part of the fear/confusion with Chad. I never felt that way with him, and I was able to recognize how rare that was. Obviously he didn’t experience the same. Again, I woke up to Facebook flaunting in my face (without me checking) all the lifestyle choices that he is finding so much more important than me. If I didn’t love the other aspects of it, I would get off Facebook. It’s probably good for it to be shoved into my face, that way I can’t pretend that the man I love still exists. He does, I’m sure, but is being shoved so far underskin that he might as well not.
I am quickly becoming a baby addict. I am struggling knowing that I probably will not get to see Gavin until Monday. It is entirely too long. There must be true love there as well. I can simply sit a stare at him endlessly and not get bored either.
I haven’t time to really blog, but I had to vomit a little bit of my guts just to be able to function the rest of the day. How do other people who can’t afford therapy get by without blogging?