Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo

I just spent fifteen minutes answering all these questions about people on facebook so that I could find out which one of my friends thought I was hot. Hey, it’s important to know such things!!! After all my question answering, the Luster was uncovered. It seems a lesbian friend of mine thinks I’m hot. Well, thanks dear lesbian friend. Glad you think I’m hot. Does me no good though. Better hot to lesbians than hot to no one at all, right? Actually, it seems I am very attractive to lesbians. I know when he (I miss being able to type his name—plus doing control I before and after masculine pronouns is irritating) and I went dancing on lesbian night at Tracks, the lesbians were all over me. Grabbing ‘stuff’ and taking off my shirt to touch my chest. It was a little strange. Maybe my chest looks like hairy breasts, I don’t know. If they do, don’t tell me—I’ve face enough these past several months—I couldn’t face that reality too! I ended up convinced that I had managed to find some horny straight girls there, but he assured me they were just being friendly. More people should be so friendly.

Earlier, I was planning on blogging about how sad I’ve been today and how he always seems to know when I’m missing him the most, since he, once again, emailed me today—which was nice. So nice the man I thought would marry me found time to think about me once in the past four weeks! However, I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going to blog about that. Not even going to mention it.

Instead, I decided to have a Mike’s Hard Apple Cider. I bought them for NYE to put in a cheese fondue, which was pretty orgasmic. I now have four more bottles in the fridge. This was the first time I have ever drank anything alone. Ever. And if you know me, you know what one bottle of anything can do to me. So, here I sit, a little fuzzy brained, watching a muted House Hunters on HGTV and not blogging about him.

Actually, now I have three left in the fridge—just went and got a second one. Maybe if I finish it before I am done blogging, I can simply fall asleep with Dunkyn and not have to think about who I’m not mentioning at all. They are surprisingly not bad, however, I much prefer them in melted cheese. I wish I had cheese.

Speaking of cheese…guess what I found on the internet tonight while, uhmmm, searching for updates about, uhm, the war on terror… Yep, you’re right! Clothes for your penis! Not kidding. Really. It can be a pirate, a matador, and several other things. I don’t remember right now, but you get the drift. Each little ensemble even comes with a hat!!! I want either a vampire costume or a merman costume (not that either of those are known to wear hats…). Or maybe a giant costume. ;)

Honestly, considering this is a blog written by a big old fag, consider yourself fortunate that this is the first blog about penis. I think.

Speaking of penis…I was listening to a Stephen King book on my iPod today (which was boring and I quit). It talked about a weather vane that was a big copper cock that was spinning. At first I sniggered to myself and said, ‘Cock.’ Then I realized that many of the younger generation (yes, I’m old enough to say younger generation) probably wouldn’t have any idea what a weather vane is or know that a Rooster is called a Cock. Which is all pretty awesome. It would have been pretty great to simply have a visual of a big copper dick spinning in the air and have no idea what the author was trying to say.

So, the next time you feel your life spiraling out of control or simply missing the life in which you were actually happy, sit down, mute the TV, drink a hard cider, and contemplate on big (has to be big), copper, spinning cocks.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Reading your blogs, he kind-of doesnt sound like he was that great in the first place. maybe he was something of a rat. as for your friday blog, i know many gays who served in the military with distinction.

Brandon said...

I know many gays that have served with distinction (and still do). It's ludicrous to think otherwise. Thanks for your vote of support.
As for being a rat, remember when reading my blogs that this is one-sided and I at times am still very, very hurt and angry. He is so far from a rat it's ridiculous (believe me, I've dated rats!). The rose colored glasses are off where he is concerned, but he is still one of the very best men I have ever had the honor of knowing, let alone loving.

Anonymous said...

all i can say from my own experience is that people who i once thought to be perfect usually turned out to be not so great and also flawed afterall. you are holding yourself back by making him out to be some kind of god. and remember he did dump you. it probably was in the works for some time. from anonymous rat

Brandon said...

Actually, I've never thought him perfect, and I defiantly haven't made him into a god. I am very aware, very, and always was of his flaws--still am. It's also interesting, I've had several people tell me that he obviously 'had it in the works' to dump me for quite awhile. I continue to see how that is supposed to be helpful or make it better. Obviously it was in the works, at least for him, for awhile. Very rarely are such decisions made spur of the moment. It seems easy for people to use examples of certain things of why it is for the best. That can be true of anything that doesn't work out, it's what we tell ourselves to try to make it manageable. It was when I faced his imperfections and all his weaknesses full in the face and still chose to build a life with him that I knew I truly loved him, anything else isn't love, just a fairy tale. But, look whose talking about love like I have any grasp on it at all--obviously not. Either way thanks for your care. :)