Monday, March 29, 2010

dessert needed

Survived. Even thought I didn’t want to for a bit after. Still did.

As always, from the moment we met, the conversation didn’t falter. I was in the company of my best friend, the one whole holds my heart. I didn’t cry until after.

I’m glad he is happy. And, he really was. He’s genuinely happy. I think he still loves me. Obviously not in love me any longer, but at least loves me. I wish I could be half as happy as he is. I don’t want the life he is choosing, and it makes sense why he would stop choosing me with the life he is choosing, but still. I wish wanting him was enough.

So, I keep walking. Keep crawling forward. Just keep moving. Maybe soon my steps will speed up. Maybe one day, I will talk about what-was with joy and thankfulness (as I should) instead of pain and loss.

Maybe one day, I’ll ride a unicorn.

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