Tuesday, October 05, 2010

dirty hero

I am halfway to the weight I wanna be at for Halloween. Okay, not really, but I did get a hair cut yesterday. It’s amazing how that takes a good fifteen pounds off—at least until my shirt is removed. Damn it.
I was reading a story about Seth Stambaugh, as twenty-three year old graduate teaching student from Lewis and Clark (apparently, they founded a school on their explorations; Sacagawea was the headmistress.. Yes, she used a whip. Grrr…). He’s gay. Like me. He’s a elementary teacher. Like me. He’s got a stunning jaw line. Like me. Wait, I digress…
The other day (I don’t know how recently, so let’s just say last Thursday, why not? Better than on a Friday, that would just kill his weekend) one of his students asked him if he were married. Mr. Stambaugh responded by saying it wasn’t legal for him to marry. The kid then asked if he liked to hang out with guys. The teacher simply replied, ‘Yeah.’
The conversation ended there. (Story from Towleroad News)
Mr. Stambaugh is now barred from the district.
I couldn’t help but feel a spark of fear as I read this story (used to, I said, they could fire me, I didn’t care; however, in such a time when teachers are getting laid off right and left, getting fired could lead to me loosing my home). I also was pissed off by a few of the comments other gays had made on this story (not the majority by any means, but still)—saying he was inappropriate to discuss such things with his students. Uhm, he didn’t say that he was a PowerBottom or anything. (Yes, my dear breeders, those exist. Don’t think about it too long.) They went on to say that no teacher should talk about such things. Really? My straight teachers should never mention their husbands or children? I’ve told the kids about my dogs, what if I convert them from cat people into dog people? The world should be so lucky. Cats, ugh…
So far, when I’m asked this question, which is often—although, it surprises me how many assume I’m married and have kids—I often just make some stupid comment: my dogs take too much of my time, I eat too many burgers to have time to look for a relationship, I spend my time away from school sitting on my couch, wrapped in my blanket, lonely and crying. For some reason, the kids really love that last one. Cracks them up. Guess the truth is funny.
All my teachers know I’m gay. They all met, and really loved, HWMNBN. There are kids that say such horrible things about gay, yes in elementary school. Maybe seeing a teacher they love would at least make them think about their cruelty. There are several kids in the school I KNOW are gay. I want them to know. I would have killed to know about someone else like me when I was a kid. There are no words to explain how scary and lonely it was. How I hated myself. I often feel guilty that I may have kids that feel like I did, and here I sit, hidden from them. Leaving them in their own darkened corner, wrapped in a blanket, crying and lonely.
Mr. Stambaugh, I hope to be like you when I grow up.

No comments: