I’ve decided I’m going to go ahead and make reservations for Seattle in the next couple days—when I have spare minute. Which may mean I will make reservations after I get back! I also made another decision, brought on by knowing that I will start Christmas shopping in Seattle. I’ve always put the tree up the day after Halloween. Except for last year. Halloween was painful and I simply couldn’t face living with a tree in the house when I felt so miserable. I think I will put the tree up the day I get back from Seattle. I’ll have presents to wrap, my bff gave me a new mermaid tree decoration that is sitting on my desk at home, and I need to live again. I’m nervous about putting it up. Nervous about what it will bring up within me and that it will highlight what is no more (the older I get, the more Christmas does that)—however, he’s with me all the time anyway, Christmas tree or not, I swear his ghost flooded the house last night, his absence screaming at me, his form and voice invading my dreams. Ass. You left me, leave me the fuck alone, quit haunting me. Wow, sorry didn’t mean to go there. Back on track—Hallmark also has five new Disney decorations I want—a new Little Mermaid (of course), and some from their new movies that aren’t documented on my tree yet.
So, three more weeks of work. Two days in Seattle—two days of comforting oblivion. Then Christmas tree. Man with a plan…
Black Coffee Tables
1 year ago