Wednesday, August 04, 2010


Not watching the news doesn’t seem to help very much. It is invasive.
On Connexion (my gay site), it had a link to a story about Pedro Jones, a twenty-year-old Long Island man. Pedro was taking care of Roy Jones, a seventeen-month-old little boy. On this day, Pedro began to notice little Roy acting more like a girl than boy. Now, one could take this that the new words he was beginning to speak had a valley girl lisp, or maybe he was attempting to coordinate his pacifier color with his diaper band. Who knows… Whatever the telltale sign, it was understandably grotesque for Pedro to witness. As a quality male role model, he did what any man would do. After hitting the boy several times with his closed fist throughout the boy’s body, he finished by grabbing him by the neck. In truly sissy fashion, the little boy died of cardiac arrest. Surely shocked and confused at his arrest, the well-meaning Pedro exclaimed, “I was trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl. I never struck that kid that hard before.” (Before!) I feel your pain, Pedro. It’s hard to be misunderstood, huh?
Just in case I wasn’t struggling with hate and forgiveness enough this week. It’s truly hard to believe a creature like this has a soul. Of course, I shouldn’t talk, should I? Gays are constantly lumped in with child molesters, murderers, and morally depraved. Who knew I was kin with Pedro?
In a contrastingly beautiful piece of news, a beautiful man just texted me, letting me know that Proposition 8 (the one banning gay marriage in California) was deemed unconstitutional by federal district judge, Vaughn Walker. (Sexy name. Just sayin’.) Of course, it will now go to the Court of Appeals, or whatnot. Either way, it’s a step in the right direction. I really would like the choice to marry (even if no one wants to marry me-lol!). I would also love to believe (disillusionally) that all my family and friends would support that right as well.
However, I would give that up if that little boy wouldn’t have had to go through the terror he felt before his death—girl or boy, gay or straight. I can’t help but see Gavin in my mind. Can’t wrap my head around it.


Avenjer said...

Hey B. The California ruling is historic and fabulous. And a win for our side that will move us all closer to equality. Ugh, I saw the baby murder story too. And news video of the baby's FURIOUS family members who clearly will do everything to make sure this idiot is put away for life. But still a horrible event. Very sad. Ok, moving on Well, my take is this... God is great. He's everything ever said before. But the church and specifically the people running it---that's the problem. And I can separate God and my faith, from the fools in church. And like you, walking into a Sunday sermon doesn't have the same effect on me it once did. Parts of it are nice, but mostly it's the same old song and dance it ever was. I don't find much of a connection there. But I find the gay churches are not much better, and not much of a connection there either. Basically, I go with the faith in my heart. Because that's where the connection has always been. Like a cliche of Dorothy in the wizard of oz---"if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." Which for now, seems to work for me. Maybe not forever but, it's working now. I always believe that there are paths and choices in life and we as individuals can have some of the control by making the right choices but, some areas we can't control and just have to do the best we can with the cards we're dealt. But even when I don't understand why, or what lesson I'm supposed to learn or where I'm going--I keep faith that there's something that will come from it. Because truthfully, something always has--and always does. And it probably has for you too in the past. And for myself, in those moments, that's when I see a puzzle piece of my life falling into place and I see a little bit more of the bigger picture it makes and things become a little more clear. And all that pain, or disappointment makes sense. And when it comes to bad times or moments of no possible hope, well, I go with the old saying "God helps those who help themselves." God can guide us, and comfort us and be there. But he's never going to do it all for us. He gave us all the tools we need to do for ourselves. And he wants us to use them. He didn't take the gay away when we prayed, and he isn't going to do any miracles (most of the time) for us now. A problem is placed in front of us, and we use what he gave us to make actions and choices. And hopefully, we make the right choices, and can live honestly with those choices and the answers/outcome we get. And trying to do the right thing, live honest lives, and help one another----that helps too. But as for your forgiveness for the guy hurting your family. I believe in forgiving but don't EVER forget. And that doesn't mean that you let anyone walk all over you, your friends or family. I can forgive anything (with time) but for myself, when it comes to some people and what they've done---no way I'm forgetting. That's how you protect yourself and those close to you. And for some people, it's ok to not be their friend or to put yourself in harms way. It's ok to say or think "that guy is an asshole!" Because it's true. So, stay strong, do what you can, be there when you can, use the tools you've got---and for the most part things will improve. And friends can help. And a little prayer here and there doesn't hurt either. I'll leave you with a paraphrased line from Mother Theresa---"God puts things in front of me that he trusts I can handle, I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much. :)

Bethany said...

What an awful story...cannot even imagine the fear and sadness that little boy felt in his final moments. :( Those stories happen every day. Every moment that we are living our life, thousands of innocent children are crying, trembling in fear, being abused, and forever being changed. I was watching a story on TV this week about an adoptive mother who starved 4 children over a period of 9 the point that they were in their teens and weighed 50 lbs, etc. I was thinking that while that abuse was going on, I was somewhere in my happy little world, maybe shopping, on a weekend trip, laughing with my family, snuggling my own children. It just isn't fair!