It’s a dangerous day to be around Brandon. His nerves are on edge and little things seem be trying to make me murderous. I’ve have several people tell me lately that they are physically intimidated by me, which I think is rather preposterous. I’m about as threatening as over-ripe squash. It seems the people of my coffee shop seem to think the same as me—unfortunately. I don’t handle slow and incompetent people very well—unless I am being slow and incompetent, then it is not only okay, but the preferable state of being.
Most of my Negative Nelly attitude probably comes from all the relationship shit. Not only has dealing with my dear friend’s break-up brought all the Chad stuff to the surface, but last night, I was rejected—again. There had been several red flags, but there were so many good things that I choose to continue pursuing things. We had plans for a couple romantic days in the mountains in the next couple days. Guess not so much. Why is it that the people that tell me that it’s inconceivable that someone wouldn’t want me are never the same people I have feelings for? And if they are, they realize I’m not nearly as fun as they thought I might be—even if it takes them a couple years to figure it out. Last night, I was pretty sad and depressed. Today, I’m just pissed. Not at anyone in particular, just am…
Thank God I have my two gorgeous dogs at home to cuddle with!
On a different note, well, not a different one, still and angry one, but nevertheless, let’s talk about shoe polishers. (Yep, that was five poorly placed commas in one egregious sentence.) There is this one African-American ‘gentleman’ who is always outside of my gym. He yells out to all the men about how their shoes are in disrepair, often making jokes and belittling comments. Most of the time, I remember and avoid him. Several times this week, I have not been focused enough and have been subjected to his taunts. It seems my girlfriend won’t give me any due to the state of my shoes. If it was that easy to avoid straight sex, maybe I should have gotten married. Now, I know he is just kidding, that he has his whole (and limited) repertoire and gives the same spiel to everyone that is in infecting range. Still. I don’t even know what to call this behavior, but it is one of the few things that piss me off to a silly level. It’s akin to someone telling me what I should do. I wouldn’t say that I have vision of picking such people up by their neck and slamming them through a brick wall or anything... I definitely wouldn’t say that. And further more, if I really were going to pay to get my Payless shoes shined, why the hell would he think I would actually pay a man who likes to belittle me? If that was the case, I own a lot of money to several assholes in high school.
Oh, one more thing that pisses me off? Cupcakes where they have scrimped on the icing! What the hell!