There are those people on facebook that seem like they never have anything nice to say. (They drive me crazy—even though I’m one of them.) However, worse, much worse by far (and I know what this says about me) are those who are always positive. Stuff that sounds like it came straight out of a self-help book or one of those stupid ‘hang in there’ posters, or a really horrid fortune cookie. You know, “Success isn’t having things, it’s having love.” “Happiness comes from helping others.” “It’s better to accept others than try to change them.” Typically these come from the same few people day after day, post after post. Then there are those who post, “Bible Verse.” “Bible Verse.” “Bible Verse.” Seriously, aren’t they getting sick of making me vomit every single morning? It’s nice when it comes from someone who isn’t constantly putting shit like that on their pages—you know they had a moment, some insight, some joy that they want to share. The rest is just cramming down our throats and is as fake as Bush and Obama pretending to be decent human beings! I’d rather read how big of dump you took when you woke up, and bonus points if you include pictures.
Then there are these women who are obsessed with their idea of perfection, and end up as fake as a chronically cheerful facebook posters. Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with fake eyelashes, makeup, hair extensions, plastic surgery—as long as you do it well! I understand, we aren’t all pretty, and we do what we have to to be as pretty as we can be. However, if you’re gonna do it, do it well! (Same goes for tattoos. If you’re gonna do a two inch flower or star and leave it at that, go home.) On my way to the coffee shop, there was this delightful African-America (is that still the correct term?) woman walking along the road. She had short black hair, but then on the back of her head—not centered—was this cockeyed, faded purple clip-in ponytail. Really? Can’t you at least attempt to blend? Just like Asians and blond hair. It doesn’t match your skin tone and it makes you look ill. (Yes, I’m aware that is the most racist thing I could ever say, but it’s true.) There is this very attractive Asian guy in my coffee shop everyday. He always has this neon yellow hair (not meant to be neon—you know how you can tell what they are going for and if they got it or not)—completely ruins his good looks, because all you can see is this fake mop of straw on top of his head—which is sad, because good looking Asian men are typically really good looking, and buff.
Solved two of the huge issues facing our world today. Whew! Good deed done for the day!