It’s been a strange day. Got up, kinda late, and fed the puppies. Normal. Went and worked out. Normal. Got ready to blog and make myself do a chapter in the novel at the coffee shop. Normal. Got a call from the friend I was supposed to see tonight asking where we were going to lunch. Huh. I rolled with it—which is why I am blogging after dinner. Yes, I had dinner at five. Shut the hell up, I’m old. We had lunch and then went to help him hang up pictures at a gallery showing his art (his an outstanding artist). While not overly exciting, I don’t normally get to see behind the scenes of art shows and such. I’m used to the gallery he used to own—used to be a host every one in a while, but this was different. We arrived at this second story warehouse type of place. We went to the back room to talk to the owner, where I expected a desk and such. Nope, a filthy bedroom with a very skinny couple in it. (I won’t even begin to tell you about the ‘kitchen’ I saw later.) Man and woman. They apologized, saying they had just gotten in from a huge party. We said we’d be quick. It was two in the afternoon. Two! Just got back from a party. There have been many times I’ve gotten home from a party or dancing at two in the morning. . . but two in the afternoon? Ugh. Then I went to Home Depot to buy a saw on a fourteen-foot stick. Got some trees I have trim that are blocking traffic. Not anything I’d ever have thought I would purchase. Through all the stupidity of the day, I have struggled to get my brain to turn off. It has proven nearly impossible, but I have fought my way through it. Only teary a couple times. Doing my best to focus on the life I have. The life. Life.
In that vein, I have decided to try a new endeavor. I am so petrified about the novel. Honestly, I have almost given up several times lately. Just be a teacher. Be normal. Quit trying and hoping for things that most people don’t get. You already know how that turns out. However, I honestly don’t know if I could keep going if I did that. I don’t even know if I’d be a good teacher anymore. I want this. I truly do. It feels like something in me that has to do it—probably something every unpaid writer/artist/singer would swear to. With the exception of him (who read the book after we broke up and sincerely loved it—I could tell he was sincere—plus a couple of his friends mentioned in passing how good they heard it was), nearly everyone I’ve let see it doesn’t finish it. This is a bad, bad sign. I sign that it is boring, un-relatable or something. So, as I have gotten used to doing lately (not that I enjoy it—in fact, I don’t really enjoy doing this either—I want to do it on my own), I am asking for help. I am starting a new blog. One solely devoted to my writing. And, at first anyway, namely the book I am working on now. I would really love, when you have extra time, for you to check out the other blog and read some of the novel. Please leave as many thoughts, comments, reactions (good or bad) that come to you. I’ve only posted the first chapter right now. I will post one new chapter every day or two. If you don’t have time, don’t worry about it, but if you do, it may really help me reach one of the two areas of love in my life.
The blog is: Dream Refiner. Hopefully this process with help refine my dream of being a writer to the point I can submit a transcript that is worthy of publication. As always, thank you so much for your help and love!
You can see the link on the left side of this blog, under my four (lol) followers.