I had a gut feeling yesterday when I said not to count chickens. I really hate my gut feelings. They very seldom are wrong. Therefore. No date tonight. He texted yesterday mid-afternoon and said he’d forgotten about some commitments this evening. He did ask if I was still available Sunday. So, we are supposed to go out Sunday. I know it wasn’t a real ditching or whatnot, but still. I had been so excited for the date tonight, it just really sounded good. I’m less excited about Sunday, but hopefully, it will be fun. Then there is always next week’s date… goodness.
The plus is that I am going cake crazy without the stress of having to do as much as I can in such a short time. I can now go as late as I need to. By the looks of things it might go pretty late. Although I do have a free movie ticket. It would be nice to go on a date with myself to see Salt.
The large chocolate cake is cooling, and the first round of little poppy seed cakes are in the oven. It’s one of the things I missed most about myself last year, not being able to cook. It’s so nice to have that part of me back. Baking away, finishing up my book on tape and then dancing away to my music—I wish I looked as good and unselfconscious at the club dancing as I do the kitchen! Regardless how the cakes turn out, regardless that a one-year old can’t remember his first birthday, it means a lot to me to give as much as I can to this amazing boy. It baffles my mind, knowing what I’ve discovered about life, that I can have so much hope for him. I know the pain that has to come his way. The battles that he will face. Things we saw coming, things we didn’t. Still, I also know, if he chooses, he can see the beauty of life around him, feel the joy of love—even if it doesn’t stay. Know the unconditional love and support of his family. Freedom to be whoever he is supposed to be. You might think such things aren’t really in the recipe for jungle themed birthday cakes, you’d be wrong.
Black Coffee Tables
1 year ago