Friday, July 16, 2010

the world re-entered

In sorta uncharacteristic fashion, I ignored the doctor’s orders today. I went and worked out. Moderately. Lighter weights and normal cardio. I feel better. It’s amazing how both my body and mind so are reliant on whatever those endorphins are. I am a little sorer today, but still so much better than I thought. I am also going to return to massage tomorrow, a week and a half ahead of schedule. Thank goodness I feel up to it; even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have much of a choice.
I am at the coffee shop right now, as well. While I love being with the dogs, I hate being in the house all day. Watching TV all day. Although, actually, I wrote for four or five hours yesterday and it went really well. One more reason I turned down the pain meds. I hate having my brain all foggy. You know, I need it clear for all the obsessing about things I shouldn’t think of at night. Sheesh!
I think being at home all day has really heightened that aspect. I do pretty well during the day (completely lost myself in the world of my book yesterday—which was a relief), but then at night, I can’t shut it off. The correct thing to do, I’m sure, would be to just go to bed. For some reason, I haven’t been able to make myself do it. I’ve been staying up till two or three. Just because the idea of walking into the bedroom alone after being in the house all day just seems so horrible. Picturing the things I am assuming are going on elsewhere and remembering how they used to go on with me. All that to say, I am so excited to have gone to the gym and be at the coffee shop. It may seem rather pathetic that we are talking since Tuesday and today is Friday. I had to make it three days. And I was with my family a ton. Oh well. Thank God I am healing quicker than expected. I don’t think I could have handled fourteen days bed rest. And, truly, I mean it. Thank God. I am truly grateful. The last time, the pain was unreal for months. I’m not sure the difference this time, but I will accept it as a personal miracle.
Tonight, the two surgery Witt boys are going to see Despicable Me. His first, my second. I had really wanted to see the Leonardo movie at the Imax. But, I need something funny and innocent.
I hadn’t been back to the dating sights for a few days. I now have two matches on the site I had the most hope for. Two! Oh, and I found out how to see who has looked at me yesterday. The answer? No one. Not one person has looked at me since I’ve been on there. I must say though, I much prefer this kinda of rejection (where they don’t know me) than later on when they ‘love me.’
Thank goodness for the White Russian Chai in my hands right now. A whole other kind of miracle!

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