Tuesday, January 25, 2011

bound and delievered

What a rollercoaster yesterday was. While not the hardest day at work in the typically sense, I have never been closer to walking out the doors and never returning. It took every ounce of strength I have to not cry out of pure frustration.
I got home and found the package on my porch. Rushing inside, I tore it out. Out slid my book. I couldn’t believe how thick it was. Normal book sized, but, still, to finally see it look like an actual book. Crazy. Flipping through the pages. Page after page after page of words, words, words. I know, you’re like, ‘Duh, that’s what a book is.” I know. But wow. Again, my psyche is a bitch. My first thought was to call HWMNBN. Which, of course, added the bitter to the sweet. In my defense, and his, the book wouldn’t have happened without him. I told him the storyline, why I thought it was crazy and would never work. He told me that no one could write such a story like I could, that it was perfect for me, then supported me every step of the way, even after he left. We talked so much about when it would be published, what we would do, what the possibilities would be. Funny, how none of them involved this scenario. (Not that it’s actually published yet…) I didn’t call, of course, and shoved the thought away as quickly as I was able, returned to flipping the book in true OCD fashion, and reading and re-reading the back cover. I went to dinner with a friend and had great burgers, which truly is a type of medicine beyond compare. Later, one of my bff’s called and told me of her break-up. Of course, we both ended in tears. I keep telling myself that it will get easier one day.
Even now, the book is in front of me. I’ve carried it like a security blanket. The other should come in tomorrow. Goodness, I’ll look really stupid carrying around two books. They should be available on Amazon in five to seven days, but can be purchased on the createspace website.
While I’ll get more royalties from this site, I’m more excited for them to be on Amazon, as then people can leave reviews and such, and it will all seem a little more in the right direction.
Ether way, pulling that book out of its box yesterday is a moment I don’t think I’ll ever forget. One for which I am so very thankful.

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