call to battle

I spent three or so hours researching/submitting to publishing companies and agents. Out of my huge list that I’d spent a long time gathering the day before, I was able to submit to four or five. That’s it! Most of the publishing companies wouldn’t accept submissions without an agent. A couple of the agents I found wouldn’t accept unsolicited submissions either! How the hell are you supposed to get an agent if you can’t submit to them? Do they have some internal homing device that leads them to talented authors and the rest of us sit and rot?
My time at the bookstore revealed a lot about gay books. If I go to chain bookstores, the gay selection is horrible. Most are about coming out and then there are a few erotic collections, typically no fiction novels at all. However, at Tattered Cover, there were tons. Most of them, however, looked so cheaply done, like horribly low budget movies. Most so bad that I checked the publishing company to make sure I didn’t contact them. I don’t care if I don’t get rich or famous, but I would like to have enough success that I can keep writing—and that path seems like a one-way ticket to oblivion. The only books that looked like actual books, like all the others in the store, were all printed by Kensington—you know, the publisher/agent that was my dream team. The one who turned me down over a year ago, and now won’t even respond to this latest submission. Let’s talk about how I love rejection. So, who knows how this will go?
Through it all, I’m very excited about this week. I should get both proofs in, and assuming I’m ok with their appearance, they should be able to be available for purchase by mid-week. I’m also in contact with Tattered Cover Bookstore (an awesome bookstore here in Denver), and we are talking about them selling a few copies of my book there as well. I also am putting an ad in the magazine that had me write a few articles. Since I can’t afford an ad, we are doing a trade for what I would have been paid for the articles. I’m making steps. No telling where they will lead, success or failure, but either way, progress, movement, fighting for it! While, just like in a relationship, it takes two (me and the publisher/agent/reader—more like an orgy, I guess), I can’t hold it all together on my one. However, I am more able to fight for this on my own. Unlike a relationship, the more tenacious I am, the more in-your-face, the more I fight for it, the more likely success. At least I hope. I’m excited and am encouraged. I’m tired of being content to be shit on. Time to fight! Time to go for it!